How does it work!?
There are many rumors about moving in with your best friend or significant other for the first time, about how it can destroy a relationship or change EVERYTHING. Let us shed some light on the issue and give you some recommendations for things to go as smoothly as possible!
Firstly, remember that all relationships are based on communication. If you stay open and communicate your excitement, fears, frustrations and insecurities about moving in with someone, chances are that they are feeling the exact same way. The more you talk about it, the better chance you have of understanding where the other person is coming from. There is no reason why moving in with a best friend or boyfriend should drive you apart, if anything, it may intensify certain aspects of your relationship in a positive way.
Here are some tips to making it work
Talk about it!
You know each other very well and have spent hours on end together, maybe even traveled together! At the end of the day however, you have always had the security of escaping back to your place and getting your “you space”. Living with someone exposes you to all their habits, pet peeves and blurs the boundaries of personal space. The best thing you can do is keep an open mind and realize that the adjustment of living together is not easy for BOTH of you. Listen to each other and remember to put yourselves in each other shoes from time to time.
Also, try to take some time once a week to have a “room mate conversation”. Sometimes it is hard to talk about bills or chores with friends or with your significant other. So once in a while you should have a conversation specifically allocated to “room mate” updates or issues and try to keep that relationship separate from your friendship or romance.
Adjustments to sharing your living space or sharing a new home with your best friend or roommate can take days, weeks or months to get into a routine and be totally comfortable. Give it time and be patient – its normal.
Respect Pet Peeves
You both have them – for example avoid cracking your knuckles next to your room mate who can’t stand the sound. Realize that taking a 45 minute shower when your room mate is getting ready for work is inconsiderate. Respect goes both ways and if you make an effort, the favor will most likely be returned.
It’s okay to fight
Don’t be afraid to air out conflicts and hash it out. It’s better to disagree now than to build up resentment and blow up later. It is only normal that when you live in close quarters you are bound to butt heads once in a while. Just remember what you say now, could be held against you later. Watch the words you use and try to keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand so you can keep the disagreement relevant.
Give Yourself “Me time”
Yes, they are your best friend or significant other, and most of the time you think you can’t get enough of being around them, but at some point you need to take time for yourself. When living with someone else and having that person in your personal environment so often, it is important to make time every week to do something just for you! This might mean hitting the gym one night on your own or having a drink with an old friend. Not only does this mean that you get some space and time away from home but next time you and your roomie are together, you will have more to talk about!